Lefty Soapbox

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

The O'Franken Factor 
Doug:
Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Al Franken.

There's a new liberal talk radio station, Air American Radio, and you can listen to it online or on the air if you live near New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Portland, Inland Empire CA, or Minneapolis. It's starting small, and hopefully <fingers crossed> it will one day match Rush Limbaugh's 600 stations </fingers crossed>. Listen, support, and drop them some $bling$ if you like what you hear.

Friday, March 26, 2004

Just when you thought the government couldn't invade your privacy any more than it already has 
Matt:
this happens.

If I were a woman, I would go to Georgia and get a piercing in protest. But maybe not, since I might then go to jail for TWENTY YEARS.

(via Pandagon)

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

George W. Bush, of the literal mind 
Steve:
President Bush said Tuesday he would have acted more quickly against al-Qaida if he had information before Sept. 11, 2001, that a terror attack against New York City was imminent.

Is it just me, or is that like telling your girlfriend you wouldn't have fucked her sister if you had known she was getting ready to walk into the bedroom?

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Jimminy Cricket, where are you?!? 
Doug:
OUCH.

You have to read it to believe it, folks. I wonder how these people can sleep at night.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

That's News to Me 
Doug:
Worth reading...

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Let the games begin... 
Doug:
The Bush team has unleashed the first attack ads against Kerry. Here's what MoveOn.org has to say about them:

Attack Ad: "100 DAYS"

Lie #1: John Kerry will raise taxes by $900 billion in his first 100 days.

The Truth: John Kerry has promised to lower taxes on working families, not raise them. He will repeal the Bush tax cut only for families earning $200,000 or more, simply returning those families' taxes to pre-Bush rates. He will close corporate tax loop holes. And he will provide additional tax cuts to working families to help with health care costs which have increased dramatically under Bush. Click here for more.

Lie #2: John Kerry wants to weaken the Patriot Act used to arrest terrorists and protect America.

The Truth: John Kerry wants to strengthen the parts of the Patriot Act that actually fight terrorism, such as intelligence information sharing. However, he believes there may be some parts of the Act that take away our freedom without providing any protection against terrorism, and that those parts should be reviewed. We need a president who knows that standing up for freedom means standing against terrorism. Click here for more.

Attack Ad: "FORWARD"

Lie: "We can continue to go forward to work to create new jobs...and decrease the cost of health care."

The Truth: America has lost 2.4 million jobs since the Bush recession began in March 2001. [Source: Economic Policy Institute] Bush has tried the same remedy for three years: massive tax cuts for the rich, and for three years that remedy has failed. Meanwhile, health care costs have increased by an average of $793 since Bush took office -- a stunning 49 percent increase -- according to a survey of Employer Health Benefits by the Kaiser Family Foundation. [www.kff.org]

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Kerry '04 
Steve:
I guess it's all just about wrapped up at this point. Viva la Kerry! Kick Shrub out of the Oval Office this November.


Friday, March 05, 2004

Vote Bush: He'll Make Recess Longer and Homeroom Shorter 
Doug:
First, let's all remember what George W. told us about four months after that tragic day in September of 2001: "I have no ambition whatsoever to use [9/11 or the war on terror] as a political issue."

Whew! Thank God! Seriously, that would be unconscionable*! But, since these words came out of the mouth of Mr. George W. Bush, we knew we had to take them with a grain of salt.

Remember the 2002 midterm elections? The one where Karl Rove urged Republicans to use 9/11 to their political advantage? That was the same election year that Republican donors who gave $150 to the party could receive, as a thank you gift, a picture of Bush conferring with Cheney over the phone on Air Force One just hours after the attack on the WTC and the Pentagon. Thank God someone had a camera and thought to snap that candid and completely unstaged** picture! Who would have thunk it would have come in handy to raise money for the Republican party***?

Oh yes. But let's talk about the Bush reelection campaign for just a minute. As you may be aware, Bush's aptly named "war chest" has about the equivalent of the combined GDP of several Latin American countries^. And his first barrage of television ads contains (surprise!) images from 9/11! They're also primarily targeting middle-schoolers, it seems. In 2000, when Bush was battling McCain for the Republican nomination, I remember seeing an advertisement on TV with an image of McCain in front of black skies and smoke stacks, saying, basically, "This man makes bad air for the environment", then a picture of George W. Bush in front of a beautiful blue sky with eagles soaring, and the voice over said something like "This man like environment." I mean, I only saw it once, but that was the basic vibe of the ads. Like they were talking to 6 year olds. I bet the letter R was written backwards on the original script at least once. So here we are, 4 years later, and apparently the Bush camp doesn't think America got any smarter since 2000^^. So watch the first television ads from a politician who is likely to spend more money on television ads this year than any other candidate in presidential history. God, just listen to these ads. Listen to the way he says "I know exactly where I want to lead this country; I know what we need to do to make the world more free and more peaceful." Doesn't it sound like he's in 7th grade, promising the student body that, if elected, he will make the cafeteria stop serving meatloaf on Fridays?

Thank God he's not using 9/11 to his political advantage.

The 2004 Republican National Convention, to be held in (gasp!) New York City just three days before the anniversary of (shock! awe!) September 11th, is in no way a political stunt.

Let's hope Americans can see through this shit^^^.

*As in, "It's a slap in the face of the murders of 3,000 people. It is unconscionable." Monica Gabrielle, whose husband died on 9/11, said this about the Bush ads.
**It is the opinion of this author that there are no candid and/or unstaged pictures of the President. Everything is a photo-op. Karl Rove made sure of it.
***Karl Rove
^I made that up. Don't quote me on that. Unless someone wants to look into it, because it may in fact be true.
^^God, I hope they're wrong...
^^^Seriously.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

The Law of God 
Doug:
The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With many forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women (Genesis 29:17-28; II Samuel 3:2-5).

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives (II Samuel 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chronicles 11:21).

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deuteronomy 22:13-21).

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden (Genesis 24:3; Numbers 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Nehemiah 10:30).

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce (Deuteronomy 22:19; Mark 10:9).

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law (Genesis 38:6-10; Deuteronomy 25:5-10).

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your father drunk and have sex with him (even if he previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female (Genesis 19:31-36).

If you have other Biblical injunctions to add to this list, please share them with the Presidential Prayer Team.